How to Make Friends as an Au Pair
To make friends as an au pair, start with your agency's monthly cluster meetings, then join a community app made for au pairs, like Aupairtrip, so you can also meet au pairs from other agencies, see who's nearby and find travel buddies any day of the week. Combined with saying yes to invitations, taking a class or joining a gym, and being the one who reaches out first, most au pairs build a real friend group within their first few weeks abroad.
Why making friends as an au pair can feel hard at first
Making friends as an au pair is harder at the start because you arrive in a new country, often without speaking the language fluently, and you live inside someone else's family. For me, two things made it worse: the brutal Chicago winter kept everyone indoors, and in my first family I had no car access on my time off, so even getting to people was a challenge. I also was not comfortable speaking English at first. All of this is completely normal, and it is exactly why being a little intentional about meeting people makes all the difference.
When I arrived in Chicago as an au pair in 2015, my start was really hard. My grandfather passed away the very day I landed, and I couldn't bring myself to fly back to France for the funeral. Those first months were heavy, I was homesick and I missed my family every single day.
What changed everything was the people I met. My first friends came from my agency's cluster meetings, and then from friends of friends. The real turning point was the day I joined a group of Brazilian au pairs for my first Brazilian barbecue, the only French girl there, and completely at home.
Those friends became a third family, just as important to me as my host family. I was taking care of four kids and I was exhausted; honestly, without them I'm not sure I would have made it through. That's the whole reason I built Aupairtrip, so no au pair has to feel as alone as I did at the start.
Celine, founder of Aupairtrip and former au pair in Chicago
7 ways to make friends as an au pair
1. Go to your agency's cluster meetings
About once a month, your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC) organizes a cluster meeting for the au pairs in your region. These agency meetups are the classic first way to meet other au pairs near you, add them to your calendar and go, even on the days you feel tired. It's often where you'll find your very first friends, it was for me.
2. Join an au pair community app
Cluster meetings are great, but they only happen about once a month and only within your own agency. An app made for au pairs complements them perfectly: on Aupairtrip you can also meet au pairs from other agencies, see who's nearby, join city group chats and connect any day, not just at the monthly meeting.
3. Connect with au pairs living near you
Some of your best friends might live a few streets away. Search for au pairs in your neighbourhood or city and suggest a coffee or a walk. Proximity makes it easy to meet up regularly, even on a busy schedule and even in winter.
4. Find travel buddies for your days off
Your days off are gold. Finding a travel buddy means you can explore your host country safely and split costs, while turning a solo weekend into a real friendship. Aupairtrip lets you post and join trips with other au pairs.
5. Take a class or join a gym
A weekly class or a gym gives you a recurring group of familiar faces and a shared interest to bond over. For me, joining a gym and taking a class at the university were two of the best places I met people, and your study hours count toward your program too.
6. Use the everyday network around you
Other families' au pairs at the playground, school pick-up or the park are often looking for friends too. A simple "Hi, are you an au pair as well?" opens more doors than you'd expect.
7. Be the one who reaches out first
Everyone is a little shy at the start. The au pairs with the biggest friend groups are usually just the ones who sent the first message or suggested the first coffee. Say yes to invitations, and don't be afraid to make the first move.
The three things that worked best for me were my agency's cluster meetings, joining a gym, and taking a class at the university. But the real unlock was forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I was not comfortable speaking English, so it felt scary, yet the more I said yes and spoke up, the faster my friend group grew. You do not have to be perfect in English, you just have to try.
Celine, founder of Aupairtrip and former au pair in Chicago
How Aupairtrip helps you make friends abroad
Aupairtrip is a community app designed specifically for au pairs. It complements your agency's cluster meetings by letting you meet au pairs from every agency, see who's nearby, join local meetups and city group chats, and find travel buddies, any day, not just once a month. Thinking about the experience? Learn how to become an au pair in the USA, or discover the app to see how it works.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to make friends as an au pair?
Most au pairs meet their first friends within the first two to four weeks, especially if they attend their first cluster meeting and join a community app early on. The key is to start reaching out from day one instead of waiting.
Where can I meet other au pairs near me?
Start with your agency's monthly cluster meetings, then use an app built for au pairs like Aupairtrip to meet au pairs from other agencies, see who's in your city and join local group chats. A gym, language schools, parks and playgrounds are great in-person spots too.
What if I'm shy or don't speak the language well?
You're not alone, most au pairs feel exactly the same at first. I was not comfortable in English either. Start with one-on-one messages or small meetups rather than big groups, and remember that other au pairs are looking for friends who understand them, just like you.
How do I make friends if it's winter or I can't drive?
Focus on indoor, regular spots you can reach easily: a gym, a class, cluster meetings, and au pairs who live close to you. A community app helps you find people nearby so you do not have to travel far, which is a big help in winter or without a car.
Ready to meet au pairs near you? Download the Aupairtrip app and start building your community today.
Last reviewed: October 2026.
